First and foremost, Happy Canadian Thanksgiving. I hope this weekend finds you present with all that brings you gratitude and joy.
I was reflecting on my week of solitude in Glendalough recently, in particularly learning how to create a successful beautiful fire. The reflection was how much a healthy fire paralleled a healthy relationship. For a roaring fire you need kindling, logs and space for the oxygen to move the flame between the stack you build.
The kindling of a healthy relationship is small easy to ignite tender acts. Unexpected acts of kindness and caring acknowledge importance of presence.
If the wood logs are the blocks of time with substance you share together you need to consider both the quality and quantity equally. If you share lots of quality time yet without space you run the risk of suffocating the fire. Too much superficial existence could be compared to damp wood that simply won’t ignite. How you position your wood also requires the art of balance so that oxygen can flow freely and feed the fire.
Oxygen is the supported space you give one another for self care, self love and self respect. There are importances to each person that can only be satisfied by the self. The more content and connected you are with your own life’s unfolding, the less you’ll expect from another. Since a tremendous amount of suffering in life comes from our attachment to outcome, you’re ahead of the game. What you have to offer in a relationship then becomes a gift that you both reap from.
(Thay) Thich Nhat Hanh use to say that a wonderful way to nurture your relationship is to give your partner loving and supportive space for their own reflection and growth. When two people give each other the allowance of space the heart grows stronger and warmer. What more can you ever hope for in life. ☺️
Mindful Necessities is supporting Mindfulness Challenge again this year. It’s a beautiful 4 hour meditate-athon gathering of 200+ people who gather and listen to a variety of teaches and varying practices from guided meditation, walking meditation, movement meditation and eating meditation. The money goes to support offering mindfulness teaching to marginalized and mental health people. The date is Nov 25. Attend if you can or sponser someone who is attending. https://www.mindfulnessstudies.com/community/challenge/
Until next time I send love, a bow and a smile from a pilgrim’s walk.
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